Swagbeast
Making It Pop

I had a conversation with a friend yesterday about blogging in general. Particularly, I said “hey, follow this tumblr I made where I type words and stuff.” Maybe not exactly like that, but it’s close enough to it. The response was “you don’t get tumblr, do you?” Guess not. 

He’s totally right though.

Normal blogs usually have a selling point. There’s usually a reason you want to read these things. Sports blogs are written by people on the inside. You have teams with their own blogs releasing information to the press. You’ve got reporters with their connections releasing information first and giving analysis. There’s good reason to follow those.

Then you’ve got what primarily makes up tumblr: artist blogs. It’s a given why you follow those. Artists put up sketches and doodles all the time as well as completely finished pieces. They may stream themselves drawing over the internet for people to watch. Hell, I follow something like 40 blogs on tumblr right now, and I bet crunching the numbers would yield at least a 90% rate of artist blogs. They’re pretty neat. 

The point is the same though: the reason people follow is the content. That’s difficult for a blog about nothing. I don’t think I can Seinfeld myself to success here. Swagbeast should probably find something culturally relevant to blog about otherwise it’s going the way of the dinosaur.

I could use some gimmicks to draw people’s attention, so if you’d like to pitch an idea throw me a message. I know what you’re thinking though: “Who the hell is going to pitch you ideas if you don’t have followers?” That’s a good question. Most likely no one, so I’m thinking of ideas myself. But I can write about almost anything, so I want to know what people would actually read.

I’d like to note that #zinger is almost exclusively Korean pop posts. 

 

I feel like the joke’s too easy.

I didn't ask you to read; I asked you to follow.
Friend: So you do a writing blog on tumblr.
Swagbeast: Yes.
Friend: And you want me to follow it?
Swagbeast: Yes.
Friend: You don't really get tumblr, do you.
Turn on replies so I can reply to posts like Dog and further express excitement about dogs.

Oh. That explains a lot.

Dog

I’m gearing up to move out. Alright, maybe not in the near future, but I’m slated to run off to Fort Lee for training in a week. This four-month training landed perfectly in two spheres of time known as “JOB-HUNTING FOR TEACHING JOB” and “TIME WHEN TEACHING JOBS BEGIN,” so employment for the 2013-2014 school year isn’t looking great. I’m leaving now, when interviews start for jobs. I’m arriving back in mid-September, two and a half weeks after the school year started.

Gentle Swagbeast is literally unemployable. It’s one hell of a situation. I want to move out of here and start out doing other shit, but I cannot because I can’t get that job. I’m hoping one of the resumes I send out lands on a superintendent really looking for someone with my skillset, and they don’t care if they have to phone interview me or wait two weeks for me to come back into the school year.

(I already know this won’t happen)

In the mean-time though, my parents are gearing up for me to move out as well. One way they prepared for an empty nest is by adopting a rescue dog.

 

Meet Murphy, 9 month old black lab mix. My parents wanted a dog like our previous one who was also a black lab mix. Mission accomplished; this dog is practically our old dog. This doesn’t mean he lacks his own personality, though. Once he gets acclimated I’m sure quirks will shine through. Right now the best part about him is when he wags his tail. The entire back-half of his body is in on the action. It’s like someone who doesn’t know how to dance overemphasizing the ass-shaking rhythm of a song. And then when he tries to walk-and-wag; forget it. He smacks into things with his ass in the name of excitement.

Today I spent the entire day dog-sitting while writing cover letters and mailing out resumes. Well, I put off mailing them a day because that meant extended time in the cage for Murphy. I’ll mail them out tomorrow. Today I walked him all over the place and made sure he didn’t ruin the rug. We also spent time working on the concept of “fetch.” Mostly I threw a ball, and he sat staring at me wondering what the hell I just did. It’s ok, he’ll get it. “Sit” and “Stay” were learned quickly so I imagine fetch should only take a week. 

Currently he spends most of his time following whoever is moving. My parents thought it was adorable for about two minutes until he started tripping them. He’ll learn not to walk under people with time, but until then it’s hilarious.

Personally I’m just waiting for him to lay at the doorway of the living room like our last dog. That’ll bring back memories.

krudman:

My only request is could you tag stuff like this in future? Means that those of us who don’t want to read it can use Tumblr Savior to block key words, and nobody has to get annoyed at anyone else. :)

Can you please tag all posts where you talk about crap I don’t care about with #crap I don’t care about ? Thanks bro.

Well now

That one failed also. Guess it wasn’t meant to be.

Strip Search Episode 21 out today: http://penny-arcade.com/strip-search/episode/paint-the-line

Also have a lot of gifs.